


Unbreak My Heart

by TWriter119



Series: I'll Stop the World and Melt with You [5]
Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-08 08:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3202205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWriter119/pseuds/TWriter119
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh Golly!<br/>After taking the job in San Francisco, Holly's past catches up with her, she can't keep it from Gail anymore. Gail is in Toronto. 8 year-old Sophie and a love affair that won't stop are still in the picture. Pseudo season 6.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rollin' in the Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Immediately follows Chap 9 of "Love Don't Run" (The More things Change The More They Stay the Same)

“Hey” the doctor said nervously, then offered a tense hug. As Holly pulled away, Maria held tighter,then pulled back keeping her hands on Holly’s biceps. “You look amazing chica!” Emotion creeping into Maria’s voice, “You made it?” It was a question, statement and congratulations.

Holly was returning to her current self; “Sorry, minor flashback there, I haven’t thought about…How are you? Do you live here? I just moved. I’m working at the University”.

“Por momento, I thought you were going to run Stew” Maria used her affectionate name for her bespectacled friend with the lopsided grin. 

“Crossed my mind” Holly admitted. “Do you have a few minutes?” When Maria nodded yes, Holly walked them to a nearby bench.  She wasn't ready for a recap of the last 15 years but did want to reconnect with the girl she bonded with when they were both powerless in a bad situation.

After a short reunion, Holly returned to her office and reviewed events of the day. Her flashback contained and feeling OK about visiting Maria the following week, she started on her research proposal.

\------------------------------

“I’m getting married mija” Maria said as she and Holly took a seat in La Taqueria.

“Oh my god! That’s great” Holly said, turning to hug her.  “I want to know everything”.  Maria told of meeting and getting engaged to her firefighter boyfriend, her work in the Mission District and her daughter. The years faded away as Holly soaked it all in. 

An hour later, “Ok, enough about me.  What about you?” Maria asked.

Holly hesitated, unsure if she should start in the past or the present.

“Anyone special in your life?” Maria prompted.

“Well”, Holly laughed, “that’s a really long story”. Then she became quiet, “I’m a doctor, I made it to medical school”. Tears immediately welled in Maria’s eyes. She slid around the bench seat and hugged Holly hard.  The doctor hugged back. During their time together, Holly always said she was going to be a doctor. Maria said it too but if it was true or wishful thinking, she never knew. As tweens in the foster system, it was hard to see how it could happen.

When Maria didn't immediately let go, Holly let herself go, crying in her friend’s shoulder. No longer worried about who she was trying to be or that they were in a restaurant or anything.  Her first tears were from the discarded, sometimes abused child she’d been. Her second ones were of relief and joy. She was no longer alone.  She had a childhood friend and they were going to be alight.

\------------------------------

The next few weeks were exciting.  Holly planned for Gail’s upcoming visit. “Approved” wasn't the only word in the body of the email but it was the only word Holly needed.  Dr. Whittaker set aside funds for her fingerprint research.  Holly enjoyed spending time with Maria, meeting her co-workers, some of the teens she works with and her fiance.  The Latina knew the city well and helped Holly look for an apartment.  “No viven alli’ Stew” Maria said as they stopped in front of a building with a rental available. “ I have an ex-boyfriend who lives there, el es malo.” Holly enjoyed being reminded of how protective  her once foster sister was.  Maria pulled away from the curb and Holly smiled ans read  the next address. The more time she spent with Maria, the more doctor was learning how to integrate her two lives and finding that not hiding her past was actually making her feel stronger. There was one loose end on Holly’s mind though.  _A lie of omission?_ She asked herself _Stew, a lie is a lie… I have to tell her._

Holly barely slept the night before Gail arrived. She double-checked her phone to make sure she had all the addresses for anything Gail might want to see and made sure she had the ingredients for Gail’s favorite meals. Try as they might, breaking up never seemed to be the answer.  And, neither could rationally configure a long-term future together. They were going in two different directions, literally and geographically.  Gail was settled, had the job she always wanted and was ready to be a mother. Establishment and institutions meant a great deal to her, she liked living and working in the city she grew up in.  Holly moved and made friends easily, fit in everywhere and was eager for career advancement. Motherhood was likely but not right now.

Arriving at the airport an hour before Gail’s plane was supposed to land, she couldn't help herself, Holly found parking and went to the closest place she could get to the gate where Gail would be arriving.

Holly’s breath caught when she saw the blonde. This was the longest they’d been apart, not including the time they broke up of course. Gail was searching the crowd and scanning her environment, a cop’s habit the doctor had gotten used to. Holly also detected…nervousness?

“Gail” Holly called as the blonde passed her.

The officer stopped, looking around, then laid eyes on one Dr. Holly Stewart.

A smile broke across Holly’s face and she rushed to hug her. 

Gail let herself be hugged but Holly was caught off guard when she didn't put down her bag to return the hug.  For days Holly imagined wrapping her arms around the other woman. She stepped back and looked, browns searching blues.

“Hi” Gail said

_She’s uncomfortable_ , Holly thought. After a brief exchange, they headed to baggage claim. Watching the carousel, Holly worried.  She was sure Gail knew she only had a Studio apartment in faculty housing…and Holly had not thought about Gail sleeping anywhere but her bed. Maybe this was it.  Gail was ready to move on, face reality, whatever their end was going to be termed. _I’ll crash on the sofa_ , she decided then and there.

Gail grunted as she pulled a huge suitcase off the baggage conveyor. Holly was taken aback at the size of it. Then Gail turned back to the conveyor. Holly helped her lift the second large suitcase to the floor. Holly looked at the bags, then at Gail. _For someone who spends most of her waking hours in a uniform and off duty time in jeans or basic black,_ she thought, then said, “I never figured you for a clothes horse. What is all this?”

Gail laughed, “I wasn’t sure what I needed so I brought everything” she said.

“Ok…is there more?” Holly asked glancing at the remaining bags passing them by.

“No” Gail giggled, then took a deep breath, “It’s good to see you” she exhaled, wrapping her arms for a proper hug.

On the drive home, Gail seemed to get more comfortable.  Holly realized she’d only known Gail in her home environment. Maybe transitions were a little nerve-wracking for her?

After depositing luggage at Holly’s, the women walked a few blocks to a Thai restaurant Holly thought Gail would like.  Food in her stomach and a few drinks later, Gail seemed more settled.

“We have a couple of options for sleeping arrangements, bed or couch, together or not” Holly said as they waited for the bill.

“I thought…do you have a preference?” Gail responded unsure.

Holly hesitated for a moment then said, “I was hoping bed for both of us”.  Beating around the bush would only complicate and already complex situation.  If Gail wanted something different, Holly wanted to get the awkwardness out of the way now.

Gail felt a little out of it, but realized it had nothing to do with wanting Holly. More that this was her first trip to the US or traveling by herself.  She reached across the table letting Holly know where she wanted to be tonight.


	2. Every Breath You Take

Gail didn’t take much time to look around when they got to Holly’s place. _A bit sterile she_ thought, glad she’d secretly brought a few things from Holly’s home in Toronto. Officer Peck turned to the most familiar thing in the room and planted a gentle kiss on Holly’s collarbone. Holly sighed in relief and leaned in. Running her fingers up the back of Gail’s head, encouraging her to keep going.

Gail traced a path up behind Holly’s ear and sucked gently on the pulse point, Holly moaned, dropping her head back. Gail continued along her jawline, then kissed her lips for the first time in what felt like forever. Holly groaned, wanting more of Gail in her mouth.  Gail hesitated for a minute and Holly easily took over. Taking Gail’s face in her hands, she kissed her slowly and deeply until the blonde moaned. Running her fingers under the hemline of Gail’s top, Holly stroked the smooth skin and gently cupped her breasts. Gail reacted, arching into the doctor’s touch gently biting Holly’s ear.

Holly reached down, sliding her palm behind Gail’s jeans then unbuckled her belt. Gail’s breath hitched as she arched into Holly and squeezed the hand squeezing her breast. The audible was heaven to Holly’s ears. She quickly unzipped the jeans and slid her hand inside lacey underwear.

“Fuck” Holly let out something between a grunt and a groan when she felt how slick Gail was already.

“I’ve be thinking about you all day” Gail whispered hoarsely.

Holly took a deep breath and held it to keep from hyperventilating.

Holly held Gail’s center while the blonde pushed her jeans down and stepped out of them, then relieved Holly of everything but her lacy low cut bra. 

Holly worked skillfully, slipping inside, then sliding up to caress the hardened bud. Gail’s panting was increasing as her insides opened up. Holly slid a thumb inside and Gail reacted by jumping up, wrapping her legs around Holly’s waist.  Gail moved slowly against Holly’s hand as the doctor massaged her wanting insides. Holly moved the few feet to the bed and sat down. Gail unwrapped her legs and straddled the doctor’s lap.

Holly slipped a finger in, just far enough to feel the rough patch and started circular motions.  Gail’s insides were stretching open and Holly resisted the urge to put more inside her girlfriend. She wanted Gail to come at least twice tonight. Five minutes later Holly reveled in the noises coming from Gail and the familiar warmth running down her hand. “Oh god” Holly groaned, she would never get tired of feeling Gail climax.

Gail dropped her forehead against Holly’s.

Holly started a slow rhythmic motion and as immediately as the walls had closed around her finger, they began to open up again.  Soon she had three fingers inside and the blonde was thrusting her hips in rhythm.

Gail felt it first, then heard herself moaning in the distance.  There was a point, sometimes, when she lost sight of where she ended and Holly began.  Her arousal so heightened she became singularly focused on the peak rushing towards her.  In the past, she didn’t open herself up like this and in her insecurity, would have made fun of a lover who did.  Things were different with Holly.  Closing her eyes, she rested back into the intensity of a wave in her cresting, then spilling over.

“More, more” Holly said almost desperately, encouraging the gush flooding her hand, wetting her thighs and belly.

Gail collapsed forward, in need of retrieving her breath.

Holly guided the blonde’s legs back around her waist and pulled Gail in close, nothing but skin between their heartbeats. The doctor rubbed her hands up and down her girlfriend’s back until she returned to her senses. Gail had several retorts running through her mind but each was a riff on _You’re making it really hard to break-up._ She said nothing, she didn’t want to think about it.

“I have the vitamin water you like, in case you’re dehydrated from the flight” Holly offered.

“Um, Ms. more, more, more, I don’t think it’s about the plane” Gail pecked Holly on the lips and they both laughed. “And, I’m not sure I can walk right now”.

Holly laid back on the bed, then rolled Gail on her back whispering, “I’ll get it for you. Gail drank half the bottle in one go, put it on the bedside table then rolled on top of Holly. The doctor pulled the covers up over them to fight off the chill in the room.

Gail kissed Holly’s lips, lingering on one, then the other. Competing urges;  get down to business but and explore the body that had been out of her reach for too long.  Feeling the change in temperature of Holly’s skin, Gail slid down some and released the front clasp on Holly’s bra.

A whimper escaped the brunette as Gail encircled her nipple, using just the right amount of suction. Although turned all the way on, Gail felt Holly had a gentler, vulnerable energy tonight.  The blonde pulled herself up, put an extra pillow behind Holly so she was sitting part way up and reached to get her farsighted girlfriend’s glasses from the bedside table.  “You’ll want these” she whispered in a waiting ear, Holly needed them for anything closer than 20 feet to be in focus. Gail made her way down Holly's stomach, tenderly kissing her warm skin, caressing the curve of her hips, then settled on the dark curls.  Holly moaned and Gail breathed in her scent. _I missed you_ , she mouthed into the slickness.  Holly's pleasure mounted, watching and feeling the the blonde consume her.

Round two started early the next morning, Gail was awake due the 3 hour time difference.  “Brunch?” Holly asked, rolling over sleepily from a morning nap.

Gail nodded through half open eyes. Showered and changed they headed out. “I’m taking you to the first place I went for breakfast when I got here” Holly said. Gail ordered a large coffee and the “Bubble and Squeak with sausages and gravy”. Although oddly named, it looked substantial.

Several times while they ate, Gail felt like Holly wanted to say something serious. But chose instead to continue the story of her first few days. Finishing there meal, they returned to Holly’s.

Gail unpacked a few things and tension in the air rose as Holly seemed to inhale several times to start speaking then changed her mind. Gail’s brain went on high alert.

“Let's go for a walk” Holly offered. 

Gail paused, then flopped on the sofa and leveled her eyes at Holly, “I have large amounts of suckage building up over here, the categories that would have you at a loss for words--”.

A pain pierced Holly's heart when she saw Gail was scared, "--I need to tell you something and I’m having a hard time getting started”.

A few moments of silence passed. Gail stood turning her palms up silently asking _What? Tell me please._

“I haven't been honest with about my family my parents”, Holly blurted out.

Relieved that cancer, breaking –up or finding out Holly was secretly a serial killer were off the table, Gail said  “Let’s walk”. Sometimes, walking helped unlock that big brain Gail smiled to herself as she tied her shoelaces. What felt like a level 10 discussion may turn out to be Holly struggling with a white or possibly grey lie.   _I love you Holly Stewart_  went through her mind.

 


	3. Remembrances of Things Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apologies to the 30 people who read this right away. I posted the wrong version. Correct one posted now.

Reaching for her bag hanging by the door, Gail saw Holly sit on the sofa instead.

Holly wouldn't make eye contact but knew Gail was there, hearing her slowly unzip her jacket and the clatter of her keys going back into the dish on the hall table.

Gail inhaled to speak, then she saw it. Holly looked…smaller… frail…pulled her knees to her chin, covering herself.  She’d seen that look before on the job, and on JJ’s face. Gail split in two, her head ready to pull her gun, currently in another country, to kill whoever hurt Holly, her heart lunging out of her chest to envelop and protect the young girl.  Experience told her _no_ to both. The cop kicked off her shoes and moved towards Holly, sitting close by but giving her physical space.

“I was excited, Whittaker just told me to write up a research proposal for an idea I had and someone I knew… Maria…as a kid…stopped me. I…”  Holly was quiet, then got a hold of herself. _This isn't my first time through this story_.  “Gail, I don’t really have parents. Obviously I come from two people but I mean I never knew them. My birth mother was probably an addict, pregnant under bad circumstances or, in any case didn’t want me, obviously no one in my family did.   Holly’s voice was normalizing. “I never meant for it to be a big secret it just never seemed like the right time then we broke up, then we were back together, then I got this job.  I grew up in group homes and foster care.  I was never adopted”.

Gail sat quietly, her heart pouring towards Holly as the brunette told her story. The cop’s mind keeping a mental list of names Holly mentioned, some would need an ass-kicking.  Fifteen minutes later, Holly was tying a bow on her story.

“You seem together, considering…These things leave scars” Gail said.

“Three years of therapy helped” Holly smiled.

Gail’s emotions wanted to ask the one question Holly steered clear of but instead started with a surprising but un-invasive detail. “So you’re actually American?”

“Not any more, I’m officially a Canadian citizen and that will not change. It was an important step in claiming myself, my identity” Holly said.

 “You've been careful not mention any last names” Gail ventured forward.

 “True”, holly hesitated.  “You might be inclined contact the Sheriffs Department in Virginia and start calling in favors”.

There was no point in denying it. “True” Gail said.

Holly’s mind filled with the yet unspoken part, her throat constricted. She’d discussed this before but Maria’s presence left her in an emotionally heightened state. For the second time this morning, she needed Gail’s help.

“What about the rest of it?” Gail asked in a quiet voice.

Holly inhaled, briefly noted Gail hadn't tried to hug her was welcome and unusual. _Instinct? Training?_ “I… Ugh… hate this part” Holly put her hands on her ears then adjusted her glasses. “Was abused some”, Holly said finally. “Mostly neglect, sometimes physical. The home Maria and I were in was the worst. We got hit when we did things wrong and we seemed to be wrong a lot. I realize not every girl’s family protects her but when you have no family, it’s just…well, there’s no one to speak for you…ever.

Gail’s protective instincts went into overdrive as a look of fear and abandonment took hold of Holly’s face.

Holly continued. “I created this fantasy…being a doctor would make everything ok”, tears brimming in the corner of her eyes. “Then I almost didn’t become one.  I went through a phase where I didn’t want that bastard to have any credit for what I became, even if it was a reaction.  Holly paused and studied Gail’s face carefully. “…And…to answer the final question, fortunately Jeremy Pitelski was my first, I was in college and it was consensual”, Holly shot a wry smile trying to come out the other end of this. “Can you hold me now?”

 She must have gotten up or moved but in her mind, she simply materialized straddling Holly’s lap crashing the brunette against her. Holly felt tiny in her arms and she was happy to surround and protect her.

\----------------------------------------

That afternoon Holly took Gail to Angel Island. They took the Ferry and rented bikes. It was good to spend the afternoon outside. Standing on the top deck of the ferry, wind blowing as the boat crossed San Francisco Bay. The views stretched on, it was easy to breathe. Laughing together and challenging each other to races around the peak lifted the heaviness too.

“Oh my god, I thought you were going to say they asked Steve about Traci!” Holly said as she unpacked the picnic basket.

“Ah, yeah…but NO, mom went on a weird anti-gay bender, your name came up too” Gail said.

Holly took a good look at Officer Peck, “You seem to be taking it ok. Wait I thought your parents kind of rescued JJ?” Holly crinkled her nose.

“Bingo, and the hypocrisy continues!” Gail said.

“How did I come up?” Holly asked

“Oh, I’m flaunting by being with you” Gail chuckled. “After 10 minutes of the conversation to nowhere, Steve and I headed out. Like I said, they’re crazy.  But, I will be enlisting your services as my lesbian beard when you’re in Toronto.

“I can do that” Holly smiled as they started eating.

\-----------------------------------------

After returning for dinner at Boulevard, they walked along the waterfront arm in arm.

“Anything you want to talk about from this morning?” Holly inquired. 

“I think I get it. Emotionally some parts of me are growing up kind of late but this I know—I’m glad you’ve dealt with this but I’m still pissed”, Gail said.

“The good ones always are” Holly squeezed her arm tighter.

“And my offer stands. If you ever decide these freaks need some attention, I can make that happen.   Chivalry can be part of the deal if it works for you”.  Both women laughed remembering when Holly said that to Gail the first morning after Gail stayed over. “Is this Maria around now?” Gail asked.

“She works at a non-profit for homeless teens.  Wanna meet her? She used to shoplift reading glasses and notebooks for me” Holly smiled. “And she called me Stew”.

“I like her already” Gail said.  Holly had many years of integrating her past into her present.  This was day one for Gail whose mind kept running to images of a young Holly being hurt.

That night Gail pulled the covers up over both of them wrapping herself tightly around the brunette. Holly had been through this in previous relationships and knew it would take time to process.  A significant part of Gail’s personality is her desire and ability to protect others. Exhaling deeply, she melted back into her, letting the blonde know she felt completely safe in her arms.

The next day, Gail met Holly’s co-workers and the day after that, Maria.


	4. End of the Road

So how’d I do?” Gail asked watching Holly from behind as she pulled breakfast items from the refrigerator.

Holly returned a puzzled look.

“You know, meeting your friends and not bolting?  They were nicer though” Gail said.

Holly paused, tapping her chin in mock thought. “This seems like a loaded question, let me see…”

“As long as you leave with me, we’re ok” Holy said honestly.

“Oooo, good answer” Gail said from her perch on the counter.

“I thought so too” Holly mused, playfully shrugging a shoulder “One egg or two?”

“Two, and a kiss from you” Gail said wrapping her legs around Holly’s waist, tilting her head to press gently against the Dr.’s lips. “I have changed” she said, searching Holly’s eyes for reassurance.

“I know” Holly smiled sweetly. “Besides”, she chuckled, “No 16 year-old would last in this relationship”

“You got that right” Gail said locking eyes with the good doctor.  “Our thing is adult issues, adult decisions all…day….every…day. Why are we doing this again?” she teased.

Holly reached for Gail’s hips and pulled her closer, “Because...” she whispered the rest in her girfrined’s ear.

“Are you gonna do that right now?” Gail’s breath hitched as she tightened her legs around Holly’s waist, arms around her neck.

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Holly chuckled as she lifted Gail off the counter. “Time for me to properly introduce you to my sofa.

\------------------------------

 “But why would someone want to build the crookedest street in the world?” Gail asked as she looked down Lombard Street.

“The original goal was to ease the super steep grade of the hill with switchbacks but then it took on a life of its own.  Now people come from all over the world to see it”, Holly explained, nose buried in the guidebook.

Gail shot her a look but she missed it.

“Wow, built in 1922” Holly said as a matter of fact.

“Sooo, why are we walking it?” Gail asked.

“Same reason we’re going to the Golden Gate Bridge tomorrow, to say we did it” she called over her shoulder as she started down.

Gail put one foot in front of the other and followed.

Later, they stopped at a café. “I’ve been talking a lot the last few days.  You haven’t mentioned Sophie. How are you two doing?” Holly took the lid off the box.

It wasn’t a point of contention as much as a steadfast marker that their lives were definitely going in different directions. On the plus side, spending time together and understanding they wouldn't be a couple in the long-run was becoming familiar. Gail started slowly, gauging Holly’s reactions.  Holly acknowledged reality silently. Gail let herself light up as she went into great detail about her time with Sophie. 

Holly had wishes; Gail running to her. _I can’t live without you,_ she would say. _Adopt Sophie then move here?_ _Dr. Whittaker announcing he’s moving his research facilities to Canada_. Holly knew two things for sure; the importance of Sophie in Gail’s life was becoming more apparent, not less.  And, supporting Gail was the right thing to do. _When you love someone, you do right by them_.

\------------------------------

“Everything ok?” Gail asked as she unpacked take-out.

Holly looked up from her phone “Yeah, it’s… the Lachaperelle case. 

“Hesch’s cold case that Traci, Steve and I looked into?” Gail said.

Holly nodded yes. “The Solicitor is convening a grand jury next month”.

“That’s great news!” Gail said then realized she was more excited than Holly. “Right?”

“Yes, I…Charlotte doesn’t want Hesch to testify?”

“Charlotte Copeland?” Gail asked directly.

Holly’s expression didn’t change but her cheeks quickly blushed.

 “Yes” Holly said.

“So you’re seeing both of us when you fly back next month?” Gail asked.

Holly took hold of the situation, “I’m seeing her about the case”.

“Just checking. This is hard enough, I don’t think I can go poly” Gail smirked. Holly returned a wry smile.

Dinner was followed by an evening of whispers and tender touches.  They were connected, always would be. But three days from now, Gail would be back in Toronto.

\-------------------------------

“Officer Peck?” a gruff voice insisted behind her.

Gail turned immediately.

“GOTCHA!” Steve roared.

Gail rolled her eyes, “Don’t be a jerk” she said then joined her brother’s laughter.

Steve winced, hauling the second large suitcase into his trunk. “You didn’t put Holly in here did you?”

“Very funny” Gail called as she sat in the passenger seat.

“So, how’d it go?” Steve asked as they pulled out of the airport.

“Pretty good, great actually. San Francisco is a fun city” Gail said.

When Gail didn’t elaborate, Steve let it rest. “Well, Mom has updated information”

Gail shot a questioning look.

“She knows Holly took a job in the US and figured that’s who you were visiting”, he said.

“How’d she…it doesn’t matter. So is she happy Holly is no longer here for me to flaunt?” Gail allowed herself a sarcastic grin.

“Actually she mostly seems miffed you didn’t explain who you were visiting” he chuckled.

“Uh..No”, Gail stood her ground, “If they don’t approve then they don’t need to be part of it”.

\------------------------------

“Sooo, how’s the west coast treating you?” Solicitor Charlotte Copeland asked into the phone.

Holly was glad they were going to be able to get along considering everything that happened and gave her the highlights do date, asked about her brother and work.  After the catching up was over,”So what’s this about not having Hesch at the Grand Jury?”

Charlotte paused, “I think our strongest case is to go with your DNA test and the new evidence uncovered by the Investigator.

“But that new test is experimental?” Holly replied.

Solicitor Copeland was silent.

Holly thought for a minute. Something wasn’t right but she couldn’t put her finger on it.  Also, although pleasant, Charlotte was definitely in work-mode. They conclude with pleasantries. After hanging up, Holly went to her desk and took out the large accordion folder labeled LaChaperelle.

An hour later she texted Gail, _Need a favor._

 _I’ll call when I’m off shift,_ Gail wrote back.

“Anything new with your parents?” Holly asked hopefully after exchanging hellos.

“No, still weird.  I don’t get it.  I haven’t changed. I mean obviously I haven’t dated a woman before but everything else is the same.  What the hell?”

Holly winced, she had no good answers and neither did hundreds of thousands of gay people who came out to the same reception.

“What do you need? Gail asked.

“There’s more to this Hesch case.  They don’t want him to testify, even to establish the chain of evidence.  I can’t figure out why. Holly said. I’m missing something. I know Steve asked around, would he be able to quietly get to some of the old-timers?

“Sure, he can ask my dad to make a few calls.

\------------------------------

Gail held on extra long as she hugged Sophie goodbye.  It was her routine now. They spent most of Gail’s day off together. Having the child in her life made her happy and Gail was looking forward to the next step, being able to foster Sophie. The officer smiled as the child headed for her bedroom.

“Gail, can I talk to you for a few minutes?” she heard over her shoulder.

Five minutes later the blonde officer was speechless…“Who? From where? She’s been here for a long time.  What kind of relative leaves an 8 year old in the Foster Care system for months?” Gail responded to the news from Sophie’s case worker. “I’m not sure I believe this. Did you check—“

“—Gail, we have procedures for this.  Nothing is going to happen this minute. Since Sophie was officially remanded into the system, we are responsible for her welfare and placement. There are no documents granting anyone custody so the paperwork, home study and all the steps and procedures apply, blood relative or not” the case worker reassured the officer.

Gail sat back in her chair, her gaze landing on the desk in front of her. Head spinning.  She planned to adopt Sophie.  She knew the process was lengthy but it never occurred to her that it might not happen if she really wanted it.  “Name? Who is this so-called relative? I’ll check them out”.

The case worker eyed the cop, then exhaled. “In this scenario, you are a potential foster or adoptive parent.  We don’t enlist one foster parent in the case of another.  We have our own avenues for background checks through the provincial solicitor’s office”.

Gail sighed, “I still get to visit her on my regular schedule right? For now I mean?”

“Yes.  I know the two of you are forming a bond and I thought I should let you know right away…All other factors being equal, we usually place a child with relatives over a non-relative”.

Gail heard _you’re not enough_ instead of _non-relative_ and started to protest, then though better of it. This was a lot to process as several recent life decisions were based on her intention to be Sophie’s mother. “I appreciate you keeping me in the loop on Sophie’s case. I…I’m…”

The case worker nodded, “Call me in a few days, and Gail, I know you started this focused on Sophie but there are lots of kids who need parents.  Just think about it”.

Gail nodded and headed for the office door. She was barely to her car when she officially choked on the news.  She immediately called JJ.


	5. There and Back Again

Holly reread the information, hoping one of these times the words would be different. Gail’s father was able to make some phone calls and find out what had not appeared in the official  personnel file. Dr. Robert Hesch, tireless scientist for the good guys and very kind man was asked to retire after a co-worker alleged he was having an affair with the Lab Manager at the time, Dr. Kathleen Parker.  Holly had difficulty reconciling what she knew of him and this accusation. As the plane touched down in Montreal, Holly gathered herself in an attempt to let her investigative mind find the facts.  Things weren’t adding up. She was due to testify in Toronto in three days but this afternoon she had a meeting with Greg Peterson, a lab assistant at the time of Hesch’s departure.

\------------------------------

“Dr. Hesch was the best.  I learned a lot from him, he retired out west I heard” Peterson said, taking a sip of his coffee and staring at the glasses clad brunette.

"How long did you work with him?" Holly asked

“About 5 years. He took retirement early. Worked unbelievable hours, really dedicated. On the phone you said this was about a case?”, Peterson mustered.

Holly was skeptical. Greg seemed decent enough and what she found from the internet and Intellis searches was that he was married, had two kids, a mortgage and was a volunteer firefighter in Lac Lenore.

“I’m interested in the circumstances under which he retired.” Holly pushed in.

The lab tech didn't respond.

Holly pulled a black leather flip wallet from her bag, opening it to display her gold deputy coroner’s badge number 2763. She hated having to go this route but would when necessary. She did it for two reasons today, Greg’s protection and to apply pressure. “Considering the documents I have in this folder, your story’s not adding up Greg. I’m a sworn officer of the court and I’m officially asking you, off the record, what happened?” 

Peterson starred at the badge. “Look, I never had any problem with him”.

“And?” Holly felt bad invading Robert’s privacy but she needed to know. 

“The politicos at the time wanted him out.  Somehow they knew. Not from me” Greg said.

 Holly was confused, Peterson signed the complaint alleging an affair between Hesch and his subordinate Kathleen. “If you liked him so much, why did you file the complaint?”

 “He was like a father to me, I would have done anything for him” Peterson said, a range of emotions sweeping his face.

Holly was done playing Ms. Nice Guy.  She was off the record and getting pissed with this double-talk. “Why?! Why did you do it?" She asked.

Peterson was taken aback by her tone.   “You don’t get it do you?” Anguished, he stood up to leave.

Holly understood by his reaction that they were not on the same page yet. Frustration rising she stood to face him.

 _Breathe Stewart…Breathe, please_ she begged herself. “Please don’t go” she said.  "Greg, I’m getting ticked off here. Your protected.  I put us off the record.  I’ve been working with Dr. Hesch, getting to know him. Please, please explain to me why you did it”.

Greg looked around the restaurant, then sat back down. “Don’t you see? He asked me…” Greg whispered hoarsely.

Holly thought her stomach may have hit the ground beneath them. “What do you mean he asked you?”

“Back then, being that way was something…you could be fired for.  He’d lose everything.  We never talked about him being gay but I knew. When he asked me to write the letter I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me.  I said no way, it’ll blow over.  Then Dr. Parker came to see me.  She’d retired the year before. She explained if I didn’t do this, Dr. Hesch would lose his pension, his reputation.  And, it would have called into question all the cases adjudicated during his tenure”.

Holly was in shock.

“The letter wasn’t even the worst of it”. Peterson sat back, long ago emotions creeping into his voice. “The worst part was; once we went through all the motions, I had to sign an agreement saying… saying I wouldn’t have contact with him”. Greg rubbed his temples in an effort to get ahold of himself. “It made me sick to come into work after that.  I lasted a few months, then moved to Montreal. I know I did the right thing but…” emotion filling his face. “Have you seen him? How is he?”

“He’s good, we’re working on one of his cold cases”. Holly exhaled deeply, looking at Peterson’s face. The enormity of what happened and the sacrifices all three of these people made for each other was settling in.  She watched the man across from her struggle with his emotions. He really cared. Cared about their work and cared that the price for protecting Hesch was that he could never speak to his mentor again.

They sat silently. Greg rubbed his forehead. Holly had what she needed but a wound was opened in the process.  She sat quietly trying to find the right line between supporting and overstepping.   “Thank you Greg”, she said when the time felt right. “For Dr. Hesch, and for me”.

\------------------------------

“I’d rather stop and get boxes now” Holly said staring out the passenger side window of Gail’s car.

“I’ll pick them up tomorrow” Gail said back, noticing Holly’s mood. “So what happened in Montreal?”

“Unfair…People, people took care of each other, even though it cost them…” her voice trailed off.

“Since I left my magic decoder ring at the station, translation please?” Gail asked.

Holly re-told the story… “…so I have to meet with Charlotte tomorrow and that’s why I want to start packing tonight” Holly concluded although the one thing didn’t really have to do with the other.

Gail pulled into Holly’s garage and popped the trunk.   “Sounds like they had each other’s backs”.

“I know, I’m…This is unbelievably unfair...I feel…I don’t know what I feel” Holly let out a half laugh.

They rode the elevator then Gail put the key in the lock and opened the front door.  Holly halted abruptly.  “When, how?”

“You’re gonna be busy with the Grand Jury so, I…helped, you know?” Gail said.

Holly was still taking it all in, her furniture was there but neatly stacked moving boxes against the far wall indicated she wouldn't have to worry about packing her living room.

Gail went around the brunette and closed the door behind them, suddenly unsure if she’d done the right thing. “We didn’t let the guys pack anything breakable, Tracie, Andy and I handled that.  The boxes are labeled and there’s a list so you have an idea where everything is. I—“

“--Thank you Gail” Holly turned wrapping the blonde tightly in her arms. 

Gail hugged back and felt a few tears trickle from the good doctor.

Holly flopped on her sofa, “I’m not sure what to say”

Gail jumped on her lap playfully, “Well, I want you to have time for the important things while you’re here.  Speaking of important things”, Gail fingered the zipper of Holly’s jacket.

 Holly teased back cocking an eyebrow, then grabbed the collar of Gail’s coat and pulled her in locking lips. “I’ve been on three planes today, I need a shower, a drink and have no idea what time it is” she laughed, smiling at the blonde officer who entered her crime scene by chance but took her heart by storm.

“One drink and one shower coming up” Gail said climbing off her girlfriend.

Holly walked upstairs, tears brimmed again when she saw her office and spare bedroom, boxes neatly stacked.

“All the important stuff is in your closet” Gail called up the stairs from the kitchen.

Holly opened her closet, saw the clothes, personal items, and a velvet purple bag.  She reached in the bag, put the oils and a few other items on the bedside table for later and smelled the fresh sheets on her bed. After showering and combing her wet hair, Holly emerged wrapped in a white fluffy robe.  She was about to leave the room when she saw a small tray next to the bed with her favorite retro drink, an Old Fashioned. Holly sipped it letting the whisky and orange scent slip down her throat. She felt warm all over when a tender voice summoned her from behind.  Gail sat Holly back on the bed and kissed her neck gently. “I’ll be right back” she said and finished taking off her uniform on the way to the bathroom.

Holly sipped her drink, listening to the shower turn on.  She was lucky and she knew it. Gail had every right to bolt but hadn’t.  Although no future in sight, the doctor knew she’d always be connected to the cop.  She may never find a better friend.

“Is that concentration or concern I see over there” Gail’s voice lilted across the room.

Holly came out of her trance and gazed at the blonde. Porcelain skin, slick hair, fresh smile, delights hidden under her soft robe. Slowly, Holly put her drink down, slid off the bed and walked towards Gail. Adding a lopsided grin, “You’ve been busy”. Holding Gail’s hand leading her to the bed. Holly set her glasses on the bedside table and untied the belt of the robe facing her. She gasped, seeing Gail’s body uncovered, open to her.


	6. Spilling Over

Holly dropped to her knees and started kissing the smooth skin between Gail’s belly button and the curly hairline. The blonde put her hands on the back of Holly’s head, holding her close. It would be over soon, they both knew it. Holly’s belongings were packed and she only had one more trip back that they knew of.  Her job was working out great in the states. Gail wasn’t going to leave everything she knew, although she hadn’t mentioned the changes going on with Sophie.

Holly tenderly headed south, tongue kisses covering the soft curls.  Looking her lover in the eyes right now would send this a whole other direction.

Gail was having her own mixed emotions. Always responsive to the brunette’s touch, heat was rising between her legs while a pain rose in her heart. Dropping her head forward to see below. Gail threaded her fingers through the brunette locks as her breaths became shorter.

Holly recognized the shift and slowed the pace, sliding inside her, sensitive finger tips finding the rough spot.

Gail moaned in pleasure and desperation. After the initial shock of being attracted to a woman and realizing her need for some emotional maturing, she showed all the way up.  Now accustomed to seeing the forensic pathologist between her legs, she groaned loudly, reminding herself and Holly she loved this, wanted it.  “What?” Gail asked breathlessly, squeezing Holly’s shoulders.  The brunette caught her mid-thought.

“Do you want to lay down?” Holly asked again, lips glistening.

“Yeah” Gail said realizing her legs were about to give out.

Holly sat her on the bed.  She was about to slip the robe off Gail’s shoulders then decided differently.  She’d wanted the blonde to come in the blue robe she would leave as a present when she headed back to California. “Scoot back” she said, dropping her own robe to the floor.

Gail slid back, resting her head on a pillow.  Holly considered climbing on top of her, staring over from the other lips down, but a fragility that swept through Gail’s eyes told her not to lose the moment. She gently kissed Gail’s inner thighs, placing one of them over her shoulder, and re-enterd the wetness.

“Oh god” Gail wined as Holly started her delicious penetration and licking. It was building, all of it.  Desire, pleasure, hurt. Although circumstances signaled an end; this is the relationship she was most proud of.  Intuitively, her hips started meeting Holly’s motions. Gail stretched her head back, pushing all thoughts away until she was aware of only her pleasure under Holly’s touch. Hearing a voice in the distance calling Holly’s name, the blonde came to the edge then released a delicious cascade.

Holly almost came feeling the gush running down her hand and did her best to sustain her lover’s orgasm; they were numbered now.

\-----------------------------

Solicitor Charlotte Copeland looked up at the doorway to her office.

“I stopped by Fahrenheit” the Forensic Pathologist said, two coffee cups in hand.

“You remembered” Charlotte smiled.

Holly handed a cup to Charlotte, glad she got it right.

“I’m a little early, do you have something to finish up?” Holly asked

“LaChaperell is next on my list, let’s get started” Charlotte said walking to her file cabinet.

Holly sat in the chair on the other side of the desk. “On the phone, you mentioned you don’t want Dr. Hesch to testify” she said.

Charlotte paused momentarily, pulled the case file and turned back to the brunette. “Really? I recall saying something more like considering the advances in forensics, we’ll go with the more recent evidence.  Your DNA test and the newly uncovered information”.

Holly cocked an eyebrow, “Same thing isn’t it?”

“What’s this about Holly?” Charlotte asked, knowing something was up.

“You tell me” Holly replied evenly.

Although more shy in private, the Solicitor dealt directly at work. She crossed her office to close the door “So what do you know?”

Holly locked eyes with her for a minute, then outlined the information Gail’s father was able to dig up and her conversation in Montreal.

“Impressive” Charlotte said clasping her fingers together.

“You understand if Hesch testifies, then his career and reputation come on the table.  The prosecution will try not only discredit the science of the day but him too, you know the drill”.

“No one’s ever asked me about my personal life on the stand Charlotte, I’ve testified plenty” Holly argued.

“Yes, because your personal life hasn’t crossed over into your work or supervisory responsibilities. If you were dating Jarvis, it’d be a different story. They’ll subpoena his HR records, call witnesses from the time and the complaint of him being charged with having a relationship with a subordinate will be brought up in open court.  If the defense attorney is good, he may even find out this was a charade to evade a morals charge”. Charlotte outlined the likely scenario for her former lover.

“How?” Holly leaned in.

“You and I did” Charlotte pointed out. “You got it off the record and I agreed to protect my source. What do you think someone who wants to discredit him will do?

“You know, so what?” Holly shot back across the table, “Let’s do it.  Get it out all out in the open once and for all.  Clear his name.  Morals charge? Really?”

“It was a different time Holly, thankfully one you and I don’t have to live through but he—“

“--That’s bull shit Charlotte and you know it!” Holly pounded her pointer finger on the desk. “Right is right, wrong is wrong, it doesn’t matter what year it is.”

Charlotte exhaled, leaning back in her chair. From the moment they met, she found the forensic pathologist sexy. That big brain was endearing but her willingness to take up arms when needed made the quieter solicitor feel safe.  Holly would always protect her.

 Charlotte put these images out of her mind returning to the matter at hand. It’s not that she disagreed, but her job was to think about what’s best for the case. “Ok, let’s go down that road.  All the dirty laundry is aired, the false charges, the cover-up and the fact that he’s gay will become the focus of the trial. Probably headline news.  What happens to Emili’ Lachaperelle in all this, her murder?”

“They’re two different issues” Holly said.

“True in fact but what about in the court of public opinion? They’ll be inextricably tied together in news headlines.  Also, you’re assuming the reaction from the justice system, the press and the public will be that a wrong has been righted” Charlotte raised her hand in the air. “The Coroner’s office may not be happy that its reputation will be tarnished.  And, what if instead, people blame Hesch for using a 20 year old murder case to further his personal _gay_ agenda?” Charlotte asked.

“That’s preposterous!” Holly rallied.

 “Agreed but that’s not the point. Is he willing to take that risk?”

Pondering reality, Holly stood up and turned to gaze out the window, arms crossing her chest.  “I don’t know” she said quietly.  “I just…he dedicated his life to speaking for those with no voices left.  He did it because he felt above all else, the truth was worth fighting for Charlotte. I just…I can’t stand the injustice of it all”. Holly exhaled loudly a few times, Charlotte was right. She turned from the window to face her former girlfriend. “We… I have another problem. I already asked Robert to join us tomorrow”.

A couple of stringent questions, including _what the f-bomb were you thinking_ , shot through Charlotte’s mind but she steadied herself understanding Holly had noble intentions. And, she wasn’t wrong.

 “He’s the one who will bear the brunt if this goes public.   He didn’t leave under a dark cloud.  When my investigator asked around, Hesch has an excellent reputation.  So it seems there were only a few people who knew about the rest of it and to their credit, it’s been keep extremely quiet. “Have you talked to him? I mean about this specifically? Is this what he wants?” the solicitor asked quietly.

 “No, I haven’t… I just wanted... This is on me, I’ll tell him, I—“Holly started.

“--Bring him with you. This is my decision, not yours.  I’ll tell him” Charlotte said.

Charlotte was right, Robert never even brought up testifying.  Holly started to protest that this was her mess and her responsibility to clean it up.

 Charlotte held up a gentle hand, “I planned to handle it another way but we’ve crossed this bridge already. I’ll tell him”.


	7. Closure

Gail looked up from her note pad, then clicked her pen and placed it in her breast pocket. “Next time it may be more than a warning so slow down”.  The driver nodded and Gail headed back to the cruiser. “Oh my God”, she said closing the passenger door. How much longer do we have to do this.

“Until the mayor says we can stop” Dov said philosophically.

Gail rolled her eyes. The radio crackled and Gail grabbed the microphone.  The dispatcher barely finished before Gail cut in “Unit 15-10 responding”.

Dove looked at her, they both knew other units were closer but he too was tired of being a force multiplyer for the traffic department and put the cruiser in gear and pulled off.

“Sargent?” Dove inquired as he and Gail approached the patrol sergeant in charge at the scene.

“Looks like a burglary spree, nine units were broken into, maybe more”. He looked at his clipboard, “Start with Unit 312 then contact me when you’re done.”

Although and excruciating form of police work, Gail planned to do everything in her power to ensure she and Dov spent the rest of their shift taking stolen items reports.

\------------------------------

After the introductions, Holly and Dr. Hesch took their seats across the desk from Solicitor Copeland. 

“Dr. Hesch, your careful handling of the evidence is allowing us to bring a killer to justice. I hope you understand how grateful this office is. Hopefully this will bring solace to those who knew and cared for Mrs. LaChaparell”, Charlotte paused.

“Why thank you Solicitor, but certainly the credit goes to Dr. Stewart.  In fact, due to the advances in forensics, I’m assuming our best chance for conviction is using the new evidence only, correct?”

Charlotte’s heart hurt for a second.  He said it so she didn’t have to. _Who is this man? He got the raw end of the deal_ _and he’s_ _giving me a break_ she thought.

After exhaling, Charlotte said; “I agree with your conclusion Dr. Hesch, but your commitment to the truth is what allowed…”, her words caught in her throat.

Former Chief Coroner Dr. Robert Hesch waited a few seconds to see if the young Solicitor was going to recover. “The important thing is we’re all on the same team, we don’t want the bad guys getting away with it right?” a glint in his eye accompanied a knowing smile.

Charlotte had so very much to say but talked herself into following the Dr’s. lead.  She could see now why Holly had been willing to risk her own reputation and ask Charlotte to open a decades old case with virtually no evidence.  “Right. Dr. Hesch.  I’ll need you to be present when we go to court. Even though you won’t be testifying I’d like you to sit in the first row of the Audience gallery, right behind my table.  I may need to consult you”. 

Hesch nodded affirmatively. “Well then, if we are done for today, I’d like to take my leave”. 

Charlotte looked at Holly, then back at Hesch and nodded.

“Can I drive you Robert?” Holly asked.

“Thank you no, I feel like taking a walk to the waterfront.  I did some of my best thinking on that route” he said.

It wasn’t enough for a tear but Charlotte did note an increase in moisture in his eyes. “I’ll be on touch” she said as he exited her office.

Charlotte locked eyes with Holly. “If he has any other cases he wants looked at, have them sent to me”.

A lopsided grin crossed Holly's face.

\------------------------------

Holly groaned in ecstasy.  She was at that place.  Heady, unclear if too much or not enough oxygen was getting to her brain.  Feeling the tingle everyplace their skin touched. Climbing slowly, Holly wanted nothing fast. Arching her neck and back, her body signaling she was close. The breaking of the dam started slowly. A trickle at first, Gail maintained her pace. Then more, Holly shuddered, her body taking over, her brain aware but not in charge of what was happening. The flood began and Holly melted back into it, consumed by the raging waters. Gail was by no means her first lover and as circumstances would have it, wouldn’t be her last. But Holly knew she let herself feel more with the officer who needed schooling on her medical jurisprudence the first time their paths crossed. The pain was deeper but so was the pleasure…she would miss this.

\-------------------------------

Gail awoke to the sensation of soft lips behind her ear, then tracing down her neck. Sleepy, lips curved into a smile and eyes closed, she pulled the arm draped over her closer to her chest and snuggled in.  The women breathed together in silence, drifting in and out of sleep. “Two days left” the officer offered sometime later.

 Holly was quiet then replied, “Decided if you’re coming to visit next month?”

Gail sighed then started giggling as she sat up, “Obviously”.  Holly laughed too. Gail pulled the covers back signaling it was time for breakfast, her stomach was growling.

“Something’s happened to me” Gail said as they headed downstairs.

Holly replied with a questioning look.

“I suck at breaking up.  I used to be really good at it you know” Gail shot a wry look.

“My contribution to humanity” Holly teased back as they sat at in the kitchen.

“I, ugh…--” Gail started.  It was time for one of their hard conversations. In lieu of committing to be together, they’d committed to do their best not to blame the other’s circumstances or desires. Work as a team against the problem.  The problem being managing the break-up of the best love affair ever…

Holly held her breath, desperate to cut in with some version of _we don’t have to do this now_.

“Things are the same on your end?” Gail’s voice cracked a little.

Holly nodded.  Gail wanted to break her gaze but couldn’t, blues and browns searching each other.

“So I’ve been reframing, from a house, kids and a dog to a kind of temporary…friends with benefits or banging a hot doctor from San Francisco or something” Gail wanted to exhale but couldn’t until Holly spoke.

Holly’s breath wouldn’t come out either.

Gail continued “I…I like… I’ve been my best and worst in this thing.  I want to get married, I want a bunch of kids running around,  live in the suburbs. I want to have a career as a cop.  I want my happily ever after.  A shot at it anyway.  I want my family to be different than the one I grew up in I…” her voice trailed off.  “What’s confusing the crap out of me is it seems like these are the feelings I should have for the person I’m going to marry, but you’re not going to marry me” An edge entered the cop’s voice, her glare penetrating the brunette’s glasses.

A sharp pain cut through Holly’s chest, her mental retort included Gail not being willing to support her career but resisted verbalizing it. The lesson she’d been forced to learn in this relationship was to stop the finger-pointing and just say things from her heart.  Paradoxically, this created exactly the intimacy it pained her to leave. _Can I do this? Stay away for good?_ she asked herself.

\------------------------------

The next morning, Holly and Hesch were on the road to Kingston. “Believe me, it’s the best brunch you’ll ever have.  And the atmosphere is really cool, like stepping into the past”, Holly reassured Robert as they started the hour and a half drive East.

Hesch wondered how good food could actually be but surmised Holly lived in the States now and rarely had the chance to eat here.  Toronto was so much closer to this infamous diner than San Francisco.

Holly enjoyed the drive.  It gave her plenty of timee to discuss cases. Robert had a way of making his investigations come alive. Holly turned the car on to Princess Street, then into the parking lot of the Star Diner. “I need to run to the drug store”, Holly said pointing across the street. “Order me a coffee?”

Hesch considered saying he would wait in the car but Holly seemed in a hurry.   _She’s not leaving me here is she?_ Went through his head, he immediately dismissed the thought.

“Just one?” the waitress asked as he stood inside the door.

“For two please, my friend is joining me” Hesch said.  The waitress motioned with a menu for him to take the corner table.

Greg Peterson couldn’t believe his eyes which were glued to the older man taking his coat off across the room. Time wound backwards....

“But, this isn’t right”, the idealistic young lab assistant said.

“I agree Gregory, but it is the reality of the matter. I can’t force you to do this and I’m conflicted on many levels myself.  However, it will be most convincing coming from you", the coroner said.

Greg looked at the floor, then back at his mentor. “You’re absolutely sure?”

“Yes” said Dr. Robert Hesch.

“Yes” said Dr. Kathleen Parker.

Snapping back to the present, Greg wanted to believe his eyes were playing tricks on him but the lump in his throat told the truth. _This can’t be a coincidence, is this why Dr. Stewart wanted to meet halfway between Montreal and Toronto?_ Greg hesitated, remembering he’d been forced to sign an agreement that he would never be in contact with Dr. Hesch or Dr. Parker again. He sipped his coffee, looked around the restaurant and out the window.  Holly was nowhere in sight.

_Let’s see,_ Hesch thought reading the menu, taking a sip of tea.  Holly was taking longer than he’d expected.

“Doc?” a wavering voice said quietly.

Hesch looked up, blinking several times.

“It’s me—“

“Gregory” both men said at the same time.

Hesch stood up quickly, but resisted his impulse to reach for the younger man.

Greg reached two arms around the doctor, crushing him in a bear hug.

A tear formed in the corner of Holly’s eye as she peered through the window of the diner.


	8. Where to Now?

“We’re beginning our approach to San Francisco International, please take your seats and buckle your seatbelts” Gail heard over the intercom.  Her heart skipped a beat and she looked down at her boarding pass to reassure herself. Looking out the window, the clouds were heavy and grey, she remembered…

Although prepared for the answer, she couldn’t wrap her heart around it.  Sophie had an aunt who lived in Nova Scotia. The Province would be awarding custody to Sophie’s aunt and Sophie would be moving to the other side of the country. The rest was muffled, as if being said in another room. Gail caught something about the family being grateful and wanting to meet her.  It didn’t help…

A tear spilled, she wiped it surreptitiously, begging herself to keep a brave face a little longer. Gail felt unable to settle on any one emotion. Heartbroken that she wasn’t able to go through with saving the 8-year old girl who changed her life.  Happy Sophie had family who loved her. Hurt that something she wanted so much could be taken away so swiftly. Bewildered about what she had to learn loosing Sophie and the best relationship she’d ever had in the same year.

As the wheels touched down, Gail closed her eyes, hearing the roar of the engines. Once at the gate, she stood with the rest of the passengers waiting her turn to grab her roller-bag from the overhead bin and deplane.

Closing the door of the cab _so far so good_ she thought and gave the driver the address. 

\---------------------------------

“Thank you for seeing me Chief” Gail shook his hand, grateful her family connections allowed her a courtesy interview with Chief Surh of the San Francisco Police Department.  She knew it before she came here. Being a San Francisco Police officer was a far off possibility.  She’d have to become a US citizen to work in any of the police departments in California. She’d seen it on each of the department’s websites, called all of them anyway and called a second time to confirm.  Even if she was interested in requsing citizenship of her country of birth, which she wasn't, it would take years.

The other possibilities were private security or private investigator but she was having trouble imaging a life and career without being part of the thin blue line. 

Gail checked the map app on her phone after stepping out of SFPD Headquarters on Bryant Street. It was about 20 blocks south to Holly’s apartment. She could cab it or walk. She decide she needed the walk. But instead of heading south, she walked due west, then turned north on Market Street towards her hotel.

There were tons of people walking, _easy to get lost in the crowd_ she thought. Yet, her head was filled with unlikely scenarios that would place Holly in her path.  _Crazy_ she said to herself _. I grew up in Toronto, am in a public service job and there are literally millions people in the city I’ll never meet._ A twinge of guilt, or was it a twinge of reality? However many miles between them, to date, the cop and the forensic pathologist had been unable to break orbit.

The next afternoon, Gail sat in a wooden chair across from Reggie Brock, Operations Chief of the Anderson Group as he closed out the interview.  “Citizenship isn't an issue for us as long as you have you work Visa and follow US laws. We have branches in three other countries. To tell you the truth, most of our operatives are ex-military, and a little older. Gail leveled her eyes to his, silently waiting for him to explain exactly what the problem was.  He starred back, pleased she didn't flinch.  Good looking body guards could be a plus in certain situations.  Also, the truth is, kids under protection related better to women than a tough as nails Special Forces types.

 In a normal interview, this is the point where the interviewer asked for references. Things were different in the world of private security, Gail knew she’d been thoroughly vetted and they were interested long before she stepped in the door.  The “interview” today was to size her up.

“If you’re interested, next step is Tactical Skills Evaluation.  Call me in two days and let me know”.  Gail knew Brock was testing her. Using her peripheral vision, she checked the digital clock on his desk, 14:18:37.  She would call him back in exactly 48 hours. "Any other questions Ms. Peck?" Brock asked.

"Is the tail you put on me this morning going to follow me back to my hotel or are we done with that part?"Gail asked.

Brock smiled.

Drink number one at the hotel bar late that night was about the possibilities. She could work private security. Providing a safe environment was a meaningful contribution to an individual or a family. Drink number two was about the no’s. Private security was a step down, long hours, no pension, unreliable clients and you mostly worked alone. Possibly risking your life for people who thought of you as the paid help.

Finishing her third drink, a man in a suit took the next stool. He’d already been on her radar, she monitored his reflection in the mirror behind the bar. Late 20’s, dark hair, green eyes, 5’11, expensive suit, in good shape.  _Cute_ , she thought, _but waiting for signals that I’ve had enough to drink so he could offer to pay for “one more”_. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked in a friendly voice.

Gail turned and smiled politely as the bartender handed her the bill, “I’m good thanks”.

“Looks like you've had a long day.  Me too. Where are you from?” he pursued.

Several retorts shot through Gail’s brain but she settled down.  He wasn't a bad guy, just a guy on the make. “You’ll do better with the chick in the blue dress at the end of the bar.  She’s been checking you out the whole time you were watching me”, the cop said, then headed to her room.  She made her decision, she wasn’t doing this.  As a matter of form she’d call Brock as agreed in two days, but that would be the end of it.

\------------------------------

“On my way”, Gail texted Holly as the cab pulled away from her hotel.

“Yeah! ” Holly texted back, not knowing Gail had been in the city for a week already.

Holly waited only a few minutes before bouncing down to the front door of her building to wait. Watching through the glass, a petite blonde popped out of a cab, turning away as the driver opened the trunk to get her bag. _Never get tired of that_ , Holly thought checking her out from behind, although she did miss seeing the heavy belt Gail often tucked her thumbs into while in uniform.

As Gail approached, Holly stepped onto the sidewalk, adorkable grin across her face. The blonde smiled and Holly thought she detected a sigh of relief.  “Hi” Holly said, pulling back after a tight hug. “Trip ok? You know I would have picked you up"  she said.

“Same as last time” Gail looked down, pretending to check something in her pocket.

“Let’s get this upstairs” the doctor said taking one of Gail’s bags.

Holly barely had the roller-bag in the bedroom before Gail was behind her.

Gail didn’t ask if they had dinner plans or were meeting friends, she decided Holly was going nowhere.  Gail feverishly nuzzled and pecked at the brunette’s ears and cheeks.  Moving the long locks of brown hair aside to devour the back of her neck keeping her face down on the bed. Straddling the doctor’s thighs, Gail slipped her fingers under the hem of Holly’s shirt and up her back, signaling the garment must go. All the while, grinding her front into Holly’s perfect ass.

Holly felt her shirt being lifted. Usually it took them a day to re-acclimate after being apart for a month or more but clearly, Gail arrived ready!  Already feeling moisture between her legs, Holly reached to pull her shirt off and arched her back, the gesture offering Gail more access if she wanted it.

She did…want more of her. Leaving Holly’s hip hugging jeans buttoned, Gail slid up as Holly’s arms reached towards the headboard to discard her shirt.  Gail slipped her hands deftly under the brunette, finding hardened nipples through the satin bra. _Cobra_ , Holly heard the voice of her yoga teacher in her head as she lifted up to give Gail room to work. _Cow_ , she heard later on all fours as Gail peeled her underwear down. Tongue, fingers then _Caterpillar_ she said to herself, spreading her knees in the final stages as Gail gently pushed her head back down on to the bed. _I can’t live without you_ she cried in her head as she came. A desperate attempt to not say it out loud.


	9. Where to Now Part 2

“Holly?” JJ asked into the phone.

“She had to go to work for a few hours”, Gail said.

“So, how’s it going?”

“Ok, I mean we’ve been busy” Gail said

“Cool what did you guys do? JJ asked.

“Well, basically I’ve been f-ing her brains out” Gail laughed and flopped back on the bed.

“Mmm! Break-up sex or distraction?” JJ said.

“Distraction. Straight up!” Gail said loudly.

JJ inhaled, “Have you told her about Sophie?”

“Not yet. I’m not sure what to say. I’ve been telling her Sophie was the reason I won’t move. And she has been…I mean I said other reasons too like my career and my whole life is there… but this thing with Sophie…felt so strong.  And, frankly…” Gail’s voice trailed off.

JJ waited.

“Are you there?” Gail asked after a minute.

“On your 6” JJ said. Although a school teacher, she spent enough time living with Gail and her brother to be allowed to use the law enforcement term for _I’ve got your back_.

“I don’t think I overemphasized it…you know it was easier to say I was staying for her than just for me. And I was, I meant it. I wanted to adopt her.  I was ready. I…” Gail’s voice trailed off. “It’s all messed up now”.

“Gail—“ JJ started

“Actually, it’s not messed up. It just sucks that I’m going to tell her that even though I’m not adopting Sophie…I’m not going to be with her either”. Gail broke into tears.

JJ listened, desperate to not be three time zones away.

\----------------------------------------

Holly pulled into the garage at Mission Bay. She had to meet with a project officer visiting from National Institute of Justice. NIJ funds two of the department’s larger research projects. She also reminded herself to find out what Air Canada was serving for lunch on their flights these days.  Gail showed up on fire.  They’d had sex three times in the last eighteen hours

Her report concluded and the project officer pleased with their progress on the study, Holly headed towards her office to pick up her jacket and laptop. _It’s getting over_ , she thought. The sex had been amazing, but Gail blew off a conversation this morning, _in the nicest possible way_ , she smiled. Something was coming, she knew. Probably their ending. 

Holly checked her watch then texted Gail “Tsunami opens in a few minutes. Sushi?”

“Perfect. Eat in tonight J” Gail texted back.

Holly smiled, “LOL! with you, every night!” Then, closed the door to her office. Hoping no one heard the soft whimpers.

\---------------------------------

“Dr. Stew” a teenage boy approached Holly while she was in line at the register.

 “Yuki, hi”.

“I got an A on my biology exam” the boy announced proudly. “That saying you told me really works”

“Sweet!” Holly exclaimed giving him a high-5. “You’ll need lots of those as you go along. Science takes understanding and memorizing.  OK – Let’s hear it”

“K-P-C-O-F-G-S, Keep Pond Clean Or Froggy Gets Sick, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species!” Yuki replied.

“Yep, you got it! When you create a rhyme or saying like that, you’ll always remember it”

“Yuki” the boy’s mother called from behind the register. Holly couldn’t translate the next two sentenes but Yuki nodded and headed back to the kitchen.  “Dr. Stew, Sashimi Okamase, Tempura Shrimp role and Sake Avacado right?”

Holly nodded and paid. Walking back to the garage, it started to rain.  Holly quickened her pace, she had four blocks to go. Two blocks closer, the sky opened up and rain poured down. Saving dinner became her priority.  Seeing the plastic bag was tightly knotted, Holly slowed her pace. Looking up, she saw millions of droplets coming down.  Instead of running, she held her arms out to her sides and let the rain wash over her. _What am I supposed to do?_.  A few tears bubbled out but were wholly indistinguishable from the rain. No answer came, no booming voice from the sky to show her a way out of her dilemma. But five minutes later she felt better, lighter in some way and finished the walk to her car.

Grabbing a towel from her gym bag in the trunk, Holly dried what she could, then laid the towel on the driver’s seat. _Who’s staying home with the kids_? A quiet voice inside her head asked. “Gail obviously” she said out loud without thinking about it. Holly started her car and pulled onto the street.

\----------------------

“Whoa, Um…did you buy a convertible or something?” Gail asked referring to a soaking wet Holly presenting a bag of take-out containers.

“Just got caught without my umbrella” she said in a breezy tone and headed to the bedroom.

Gail unpacked their dinner, “Living room ok or do you want to eat at the table?” She called.

“Living room, let’s watch a movie. I have Netflix now.” Holly said returning in sweats and a towel around her head. “Have you seen the Italian Job?”

“Bank heist?” Gail asked.

Holly nodded.

“But they don’t get away with it right?” Gail reminded Holly that she didn’t watch movies where criminals get away with it. Unrealistic and bad juju for cops.

“I haven’t seen it but it’s just a movie” Holly said sitting on the sofa.

“God this is so good” Gail said taking a bite.  I’d eat this every day if I lived here.

“Well, I’m a known customer” Holly said.

Holly felt herself getting ready to dive into a huge issue. She stopped herself twice then realized she was in some kind of window where she was going to be able to talk about this without crumbling _.  Sex, sex, sex, work, cry, rainstorm, sushi.  What’s the pattern?_ the scientist wondered. “So when you adopt Sophie, you’ll be working obviously but when you get married, will you stay home with your kids? I guess I don’t remember you talking about that part”.

Holly said it so matter of fact that for a second, Gail believed it herself. Then she felt the sashimi start swimming in her stomach. “I uh…Holly…” Gail said.

Holly was busy studying the remote and pressing buttons to get to Netflix.

“I guess I hadn’t thought that far. I’m a cop, I don’t have to stop doing that. Although, my parents were never home so I’ve thought about staying home.  The whole mom’s groups and play dates kinda freak me out. Steve and I ran around in the woods all day with kids from our neighborhood.  I’m a good cop, I like that, I don’t want to give it up” Gail said.

“Yeah…I don’t really see you on play dates.  You’ll be more the cool mom in the neighborhood” Holly replied.

“Do you really think I’ll be a good mom?” Gail asked in an uncharacteristically meek voice.

The tone caught Holly’s attention and her head snapped around. “Totally Gail. Look, you’ve been out there. You’ll know what your kids are up to before they do.  And… your kids will be safe you know. You’ll protect them.

Gail was still quieting her stomach. “What about you?”

“I’ll be the dad I think” Holly arched her eyebrows and smiled. “Movie?”

“Hold on.  More information please, what does that mean exactly?” Gail chided.

“I want kids, I plan to be involved, share the parenting and all that, but I don’t see myself being the primary caretaker.  I see my partner doing that.  I’m willing to be responsible for being the breadwinner.  I know its old fashioned, but I’d rather live in a way where my kids can have a parent at home. At least while they’re young” Holly said.

Gail wasn’t sure how to respond. Gender roles were doing handsprings in her head. She hadn’t ever thought of Holly as _the man_.  And she wasn’t but it was a good point.  Both parents couldn't stay home.  “Ok” she said lightly and nodded towards the TV. “Let’s see the bad guys get caught?”


	10. The Longest Day

Gail had four more days in the city by the bay, and with Holly. The couple had sex, laughed, hung out and even cried. The truth about Sophie came out. Gail’s consternation that Holly would use it to pressure her to quit her job and move to San Francisco, was unfounded. Holly’s reaction was one of hurt and to come to Gail’s defense.  Questioning her at length about possibilities and options.  At first Gail found the questions irritating.  She’d been through this in her own head a hundred times. Ultimately, hearing herself answer Holly’s questions helped her shift more fully into a place where her happiness for Sophie getting to grow up in her own family was outweighing her personal pain of not being able to take care of the girl.

Holly wasn’t sure exactly what happened that day in the rain, but she did make peace with the fact that who she wanted in her life was the right person. For a long time, she wanted that person to be Gail but it wasn’t turning out that way.  Gail would have to sacrifice too much.  Holly had a childhood of having to give up who she was and what she needed in order to survive.   She wanted to make her life with a woman who wanted to be with her, not one who felt she sacrificed too much.

\------------------------------

“Admit it. Come on” Holly teased.

“I didn’t say that” Gail volleyed back.

“Yes but you meant it” Holly giggled. “You like San Francisco”

“Quit!” Gail threw a pillow at the brunette. “I said the weather was ok, that’s all”, she clarified.

“Mmm and yesterday you liked the food and when we were on Twin Peaks you said it reminded you of the view at home. Ergo, you like San Francisco!” Holly tossed the pillow back and ran for the shower.

“I do not” Gail protested a little too much, chasing Holly into the bathroom.

Holly turned on the shower and was about to turn around when Gail grabbed her waist to tickle her.  Holly shrieked and jumped. “So, tell me what you don’t like” she challenged Gail.

“I didn’t say that either Holly”

Whoa…you can’t ha--”

“—You need to clean out your ears Dr. Stewart” Gail bit a lobe playfully.

Holly turned into Gail and kissed her.  “And you’re the one to help me with that?” she whispered.

“Just the right one” Gail said.

Holly looked deeply in the blonde’s eyes. “Well, it’s your last day in the city you may or may not like. What do you want to do?”

Gail felt a little teary. “I loved the day we took the ferry to that island, the picnic, riding bikes.  The view was amazing, you could see the whole bay form up there”.

“Angel island it is” Holly said getting in the shower. “Coming?” she asked.

“In a minute” Gail said and stepped out of the bathroom.  This was it. She felt emotional but ok about it.  She and Holly had been through a lot together.  _We’ll always be close_ she told herself.

At the airport the next morning, Holly tried but her arms wouldn’t let Gail go.  At first. “Well, I guess I’m not as ready as I thought” Holly said.  Both women were teary eyed but couldn’t stop looking at each other.

“Watch out for these San Francisco lesbians” Gail warned.

Holly gave a quizzical look, “What?”

“I don’t know, Americans are kind a crazy you know.  Just…be careful ok? I…ah…don’t have jurisdiction here…I can’t get here that fast if anything happens, if you’re hurt or you need me”.

Holly looked down at the tiles between their feet. Tears dropped on her boots.

“Gail, I need you to know I tried ok? I really tried” Emotion choked the doctor.  “I tried really hard to make myself go back, talk myself out of this job, everything. We haven’t had time.

Gail let out a laugh. “Time...mmm…I haven’t figured out if we’ve had too much or not enough!”

Holly exhaled, her throat opening up again. “It certainly hasn’t been boring”

“I looked at the calendar the other day, do you know it’s been less than 8 months since you walked into my crime scene?”

“Technically, when I walk in it becomes my crime scene but ok” Holly teased. “Anyway, we’ve had like 8 years’ worth of major issues so it’s been like dog months if there is such a thing”.

_Air Canada Flight 758 is now boarding_ came over the intercom.

“That’s me, if I miss it we’ll have to do this all over again” Gail shot Holly a wry smile.

Holly had a million and no things to say. “Ok, talk to you in a month?” she reiterated their agreed upon black out period.

Gail checked her watch, “exactly one month” she said, then turned to head for her gate.

Holly went back to the parking lot. She walked around some, not recalling exactly which floor she parked on.  No matter, she knew she was close to the elevator so eventually she’d find her car.

Gail lifted her bag into the overhead and plopped in the window seat. Closed her eyes and fell asleep after take-off.


	11. Adjustment Disorders

The first two weeks were the hardest. Holly was more attached to Gail than she realized.  It became apparent every time she had to stop herself from texting or calling. She worked longer hours, hung out with Maria and her fiancé a couple of weekends and made an effort to go to lunch or dinner two times a week with various co-workers.  Keeping busy.

Gail settled back into her job and took all overtime offered, grateful she was a cop; understanding more than ever what a comfort her uniform and routine were. Not messy.  Had it out with her parents about their anti-gay comments and bought a large bottle of scotch on the way home, but ended up pouring most of it out.  Not so much her thing anymore.

Exactly one month after she last laid eyes on Dr. Holly Stewart in the San Francisco International airport, Gail texted, “Hey R u there?”

“Here” came back making Gail’s phone buzz almost immediately.  Gail would never know but Holly took the day off, just to watch her phone.

Gail smiled. “U ok?” was sent back to California.

Holly pondered her answer, “I’m good.  Work, etc. going well. U?”.

Suddenly, Gail felt awkward, not sure what to say now to her one-time lover.

Holly spared her. “Heading into a meeting, talk soon?”

“;-)” was all Gail could think of, then texted a picture of Sophie with her family.  Gail went to visit shortly after she moved in with her aunt.

\------------------------------

“Heard from Holly?” Nick asked his partner during a dreadfully slow shift.

“Where did that come from?” Gail wrinkled her nose indicating her displeasure with the subject.

Nick thought for a moment, “We’ve talked about everything else”.

The cop and the forensic pathologist were settling into something, _friendship_ Gail guessed. _Weird_ though. Their day to day lives no longer related to each other. “Last week” she said out loud.

“You seem really down.  When we broke up you were like, feisty and irritating” he ventured. Nick’s phone buzzed. “Hey the results are back on the Chan case”.

Gail shrugged her shoulders but never looked at her partner. “Dispatch 15-2 is 10-7 to the Coroner’s office”. She called in over the police radio.

\------------------------------

“Who are you?” Gail asked a short athletically built woman with red curly hair standing in Holly’s lab.

“…Hi, Dr. Amanda Rhodes. And you are?” she asked leaning in closer to see the officer’s nameplate.

“Peck, Gail Peck. My partner Nick Collins. Where’s Dr. Wilber or whatever his name is?” Gail asked of Holly’s replacement.

“Dr. Walters transferred to Manitoba” the red head held her ground. “Are you here about the Chan case?”

“You guys—“ Gail started

“—Yes we are” Nick cut in.

“--sure do move a lot” Gail finished her sentence.

Dr. Rhodes looked back and forth between the cops deciding which to address first. Settling on Nick, she signaled for them to follow and went to her office. “Tox screen is negative,   I’m ready to rule his death an accident unless you have something more for me to consider.”

“You made us come all the way here for that?” Gail asked before Nick could over-talk her.

_Clearly this officer is having a bad day, or a bad life but what the hell?_ The deputy coroner thought. “Officer… Peck” Dr. Rhodes said slowly. “The case was red-flagged.  I’m new here but I understood that meant to contact the officers of record ASAP when results come in”.

“Yes, that’s right. And it’s good to meet you. How long have you been here?” Nick tried to recover the situation.

“A week” she replied evenly and handed over the file.

“Should we call you Dr. Rhodes or Doc?”

“Either is fine Officer Collins” she nodded curtly. Nick looked at Gail and they turned to leave.

_What an odd pair?_ The new deputy coroner thought.

“Dude, what is wrong with you? Nick asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

“Oh please, who cares?  She’ll probably be gone in a month anyway” Gail said shaking her head.

\------------------------------

“Say it again I don’t think I heard you correctly” Gail said into her phone.

“Being Californicated” Holly replied.

“Uh, is it a sex game or something?” Gail asked.

“No!” Holly yelped playfully and blushed. It’s a funny name for what the locals consider the common adjustment period one goes through when moving to the golden state”.

“Ok, what’s the adjustment” Gail asked.

“I think it’s just getting used to the different culture here. The diversity, the openness, live and let live mentality, things like that” Holly said.

“Enjoy then I guess?” Gail laughed.

Holly went on to tell her about volunteering at the teen homeless shelter Maria ran.  Seeing her former self in many of the young girls. Maria and Brian’s wedding, hiding just before the dreaded bouquet toss and the semi-creepy date she had with a woman she met at the reception.

\------------------------------

“No una cita, it’s not a date” Maria reiterated. “What I said is, you need to get out. It’s a group of girls from the center and some other friends. Some of them go your way Stew” Holly knew it was time. Gail   moved on and after a momentary reverberation, Holly got right on board as Gail’s confidant and supported her now friend in her new relationship with a cop from Division 7.  Holly wanted Gail to have the life she yearned for.

“Ok, Ok, what time” Holly rolled her eyes, relieved she was on the phone and not in front of her friend. With plans made for the next night, Holly went back to her microscope and tried not to think about what she wanted to wear.

\--------------------------------

Holly’s first awareness was her pounding head, then sunlight pierced her eye as she attempted to get her bearings. Sofa, she was on a sofa. Noises in the background, people talking. _Maria’s, I’m at Maria’s_ she told herself with one eye opened.

Holly sat up, dropping her forehead into her hands. It was bad, her hangover. Not bad bad but not good either. She heard someone beside her and smelled aftershave. “Coffee” the male voice said plainly. _Brian that’s Brian’s voice_.

“Stew – do you want to eat?” Maria called from the kitchen door.  Holly shook her head as little as possible but got her point across.

Holly drank her coffee, washed up and joined her friends at the table. “This doesn’t look too good. What happened?”

“I think you were nervous, just had a couple of extra drinks” Maria said.

_A couple extra? Usually a couple is all I have_. The doctor thought to herself. Holly was mortified, the evidence suggesting she wasn’t doing as well as she thought.


	12. Epilogue

Holly hadn’t moved a muscle since she started reading the letter.  She read it again, a third time and looked around to remind herself of her surroundings. She was in the airport, Gate B12 waiting to get on a plane to Hawaii, her first real vacation since moving to California. This would change everything.

\------------------------------

“Peck” Oliver called across the squad room. Gail turned in his direction. He motioned her into his office. “Where’s your report from the Hartford case?” He asked.

“I’m going to finish it now, needed Dov’s notes from the witness interviews” she replied.

“OK, ok, what about the other thing?”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I do. Anything else?” She stood with her thumbs in her service belt.

“Get going” he said.  Watching her walk down the stairs and across the room made him smile; seeing the officer as she was today compared to the green rookie who entered Division 15 a mere five years ago.

Two hours later, Gail stopped short as she rounded the corner to her apartment, “What the…?”

\------------------------------

Holly Stewart sat on the steps, “I can’t remember the last time I got a letter, a real letter in the mail. Thought I should come check it out”.

Gail softened as she got over the shock of seeing the good doctor out of context.

“Come in?” Gail smiled and motioned for Holly to follow. “I’m starving, left over Thai ok?

Holly nodded, noting Gail didn’t seem surprised to see her. Then again, Gail was trained to not show her reactions.

Holly followed the officer into the kitchen, “I thought you would be happy to see me”

“I am, I…I’m wondering what your answer is” Gail said. 

Holly stepped back surprised. “Yes…I’m here because my answer is yes” a tear slid down her cheek.  Is this for real? She asked, emotion entering her voice as she held up the letter.

Gail’s face contorted, tears welling as she moved swiftly to her long absent lover.

Holly wrapped her arms around the blonde in a fierce hug.  Months of pent up emotions spilled out of both of them.  “Talk to me. What…How? ” the brunette asked when the couple stopped crying.

“Ok” Gail said. “Get us some plates?

Gail heated up the food and Holly poured drinks.  As they ate, Gail told Holly previously unspoken details about her life after returning home six months ago, her short lived relationship with another cop and Sophie’s settled in with her family. Then, about her feelings and how she realized this relationship had changed her…for good.  “I’m no longer the same without you”.

Holly was silent, afraid making a move might jinx it.

“Um…don’t leave me hanging, I just spilled the beans over here”,  Gail said honestly.

Holly made her way around the table taking the blonde in her arms. “I don’t want a life without you either”, her voice cracking with emotion.

After wiping her nose and heading to the sink, “I think I’m dehydrated from all this crying”, Holly joked. “So, how is this going to work?”

“I’m taking a leave of absence. I can be gone a year and still return to my job with Toronto PD, same seniority, Division and everything”.

“And if you don’t want to return?” Holly ventured.

“Well, you have a year to convince me” Gail shot Holly a sexy smile. “It’s on you” she threw out the challenge. 

“Be careful what you wish for” Holly teased confidently.

\------------------------------- 

“So this is really happening?” Gail whispered in Holly’s ear deep in the night.

“Yes” Holly whispered back tenderly. 

“I’m going to freak out a few times, I’m…leaving…everything” Gail continued in hushed tones.

“Run to me ok?” Holly gently kissed Gail.  “If you’re not sure what to do, run to me”.

They spent the night close.  It wasn’t real yet but it would be. They’d been in contact but physically apart for a long time. Much had happened. Yet, after reading the letter, Holly didn’t hesitate walking to the ticket counter and changing her flight from Honolulu to Toronto. An hour later, her suitcase flew west on vacation as she headed east to collect a certain Officer Gail Peck.

The next day, Gail turned in her leave of absence paperwork, giving 30 days’ notice. Holly stayed for two weeks helping Gail pack and put things in storage.   

“I’m scared to leave” she admitted their last night together, listening to Gail’s heartbeat.

“You’re scared?” Gail teased.

Holly pulled herself up, looking into Gail’s eyes, a lopsided grin spreading across her face.

\------------------------------

“I’m not kidding” Gail said as she carried the last box into Holly’s, well, their apartment in the Mission. “I have a life to go back to, I’m not stuck here”.

Holly was familiar. Gail wasn’t threatening so much as she was reminding herself she had options, making sure she spoke up for what she wanted or needed. “I agree”, Holly assured her, “We’ll figure it out together?”

In the kitchen JJ smiled to herself, glad she’d agreed to the cross country drive to help her best friend move.   In public, Holly’s big brain was out a lot and she had an adorkable quality that made JJ think the doctor might stumble on occasion. In intimate settings the brunette was strong and sure, same as Gail’s public persona. In private, Gail needed a safe place for her heart to grow. She found it in Forensic Pathologist Holly Stewart.

That night in their bed, Holly wrapped Gail impossibly close.  Just in case an unseen giant rubber band snapped Gail back to Toronto, Holly would be with her.

All Hail Golly!

THE END – Thanks for reading


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